I have been gone from here for a long time. I decided to try some different things. One is that I started a crafting blog, which to be honest, is crap, so it includes other things too. The intention of that was the opposite of this one. I was trying to cultivate an air of positivity. But I had to face the truth, not only was it practically impossible for me to devote, time, attention and physical space to the pursuit of my creative side, I'm just not a Pollyanna. I'm not a total downer, either, but I have to let both sides show. Neoteric Traditional:Making up traditions as I go.
Somewhere in here, I mention some of the friend related issues I've been struggling with. So I had an idea that I would start a new venting blog that was readable by my friends.
Mommy is Cranky. That is the main reason this one has been ignored. But sometimes there are things that I don't want to share with my friends. So I searched the recesses of my brain for a few days and remembered the name of this blog and my log in info and here I am. I won't blog with any regularity but I will be here and I am at the other locations. So if any of the few of you who ever read this blog want to find out more, now you have the chance.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Still on the go
I'm still quite busy in my life right now, but I've been missing this outlet more than usual the past few days. Perhaps it's because I've been missing the internet in general the past few days. I've barely logged on for several weeks, maybe more than a month. Well, let me correct that, I've barely used the internet for anything other than reading/downloading home school stuff.
My last post announced that my menstrual cycle seemed to be evening out, apparently it heard me so decided to go haywire. I had a terrible 2 days last week, or the week before I'm too tired to count backwards, that was the signal to the impending period. A period that lasted for 9 days. I'm not kidding, nine. I was really angry at everything, my husband and kids were sick so they were all extra whiny. I did a pretty good job keeping it to myself, but I was fuming underneath for a good 2 days, well a bad 2 days.
I took a few minutes to read some of my previous posts so here's updates on some of the stuff:
Hubby: still no job
Car: bought minivan - due in part to finding a low rate on a loan and part to...
Medical debt: father assures us that as long as you're paying something each month without fail on medical debt, they can't mess with you. So have auto payments from bank for low amounts
Artistic outlet: not getting much done but did make a separate blog for it, decided I didn't want to mix the "topics"
House: still crappy
Housework: still apathetic
Friends: I haven't spent much time with my friends lately, I've been busy or sick or too tired to get out of jammies. However, I did come to a big realization about myself that I will post later
Confidence: still low, still pondering telling a few people about this blog, especially tonight after reading an entry in a friend's blog, especially considering telling her but that would be embarrassing.
Oh, 2 "especially"'s in one sentence, I've got to go to bed it's after 1am
My last post announced that my menstrual cycle seemed to be evening out, apparently it heard me so decided to go haywire. I had a terrible 2 days last week, or the week before I'm too tired to count backwards, that was the signal to the impending period. A period that lasted for 9 days. I'm not kidding, nine. I was really angry at everything, my husband and kids were sick so they were all extra whiny. I did a pretty good job keeping it to myself, but I was fuming underneath for a good 2 days, well a bad 2 days.
I took a few minutes to read some of my previous posts so here's updates on some of the stuff:
Hubby: still no job
Car: bought minivan - due in part to finding a low rate on a loan and part to...
Medical debt: father assures us that as long as you're paying something each month without fail on medical debt, they can't mess with you. So have auto payments from bank for low amounts
Artistic outlet: not getting much done but did make a separate blog for it, decided I didn't want to mix the "topics"
House: still crappy
Housework: still apathetic
Friends: I haven't spent much time with my friends lately, I've been busy or sick or too tired to get out of jammies. However, I did come to a big realization about myself that I will post later
Confidence: still low, still pondering telling a few people about this blog, especially tonight after reading an entry in a friend's blog, especially considering telling her but that would be embarrassing.
Oh, 2 "especially"'s in one sentence, I've got to go to bed it's after 1am
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
2 months
It's been 2 months since my last post. Believe me, it's not for lack of material. I've been more just plain tired and busy during this time than normal. The hormonal mood swings are evening out some, not all the way, but enough that I've felt noticeably less angry during PMS week. The husband and I still have our issues big and small, but there haven't been as many tiffs and no big blowouts, that I remember- have I mentioned how tired I've been?
A friend and I got together to talk about the PPD issues we've had. Some are similar and some are different. It's just nice to talk to someone who really knows what PPD means - even though neither of us has had it so extreme we'd cause harm, it's definitely more than the "baby blues".
I've been busy trying to create home school for my kids. I'm undecided how long I'll pursue this, but at least for this school year. That has taken up a great deal of time. Taking little moments to teach my kids sort of comes naturally to me, but I'm nowhere near home school quality/quantity. Dinner is ready to come out of the oven. I just felt I needed to post here since it has been so long. I kinda miss it.
A friend and I got together to talk about the PPD issues we've had. Some are similar and some are different. It's just nice to talk to someone who really knows what PPD means - even though neither of us has had it so extreme we'd cause harm, it's definitely more than the "baby blues".
I've been busy trying to create home school for my kids. I'm undecided how long I'll pursue this, but at least for this school year. That has taken up a great deal of time. Taking little moments to teach my kids sort of comes naturally to me, but I'm nowhere near home school quality/quantity. Dinner is ready to come out of the oven. I just felt I needed to post here since it has been so long. I kinda miss it.
Friday, June 27, 2008
My Buddy and Me
I have been blessed with 2 wonderful friends. One came to me through a job we both ended up hating but, was the start of our 9 year friendship. We are both overall low maintenance. We are laid back about most things but, are both particular about things in the same areas of life. We are a similar mix of positive and negative out looks. It is an easy but strong friendship surviving her 3 year stint working in another country (from when I was pregnant with my first to when I was pregnant with my 3rd) and a 45 minute drive between our houses. She is intelligent, well spoken, artistic, and confident. She recently had her first child, who looks exactly like her. Unless her husband is holding the baby, then she looks exactly like him! My husband and I are both so glad to be sharing this phase of our lives with them.
The other arrived in my life about 3 years ago. I was pregnant with my second and standing at the sink doing dishes - barefoot, no less! The blinds were open so I could see the house next to / behind us (we live on a corner) that was for sale. A car drove up and a couple who looked to be about the same age as I, got out of the car. I was happy to see them and thought to myself "It would be great if they have young kids too" At that same time she was going around to the passenger side of the car to get her daughter out! Better still, her daughter looked to be about the same age as mine! I was elated. Turns out she is a few weeks older than I and her daughter is a few months older than mine. She is also a lot like me. We both like crafts, we're adventerous in our own way, we have a high school, band geek past (we still have a little of it), and we're similar parents. She just had her second child - a little more than 12 hours ago actually. She's outgoing, EASY to like, and has a very sunny outlook. My husband and I couldn't have wished for better neighbors.
I'm just very blessed to have them both in my life with the added bonus that their husbands and mine like each other too.
The other arrived in my life about 3 years ago. I was pregnant with my second and standing at the sink doing dishes - barefoot, no less! The blinds were open so I could see the house next to / behind us (we live on a corner) that was for sale. A car drove up and a couple who looked to be about the same age as I, got out of the car. I was happy to see them and thought to myself "It would be great if they have young kids too" At that same time she was going around to the passenger side of the car to get her daughter out! Better still, her daughter looked to be about the same age as mine! I was elated. Turns out she is a few weeks older than I and her daughter is a few months older than mine. She is also a lot like me. We both like crafts, we're adventerous in our own way, we have a high school, band geek past (we still have a little of it), and we're similar parents. She just had her second child - a little more than 12 hours ago actually. She's outgoing, EASY to like, and has a very sunny outlook. My husband and I couldn't have wished for better neighbors.
I'm just very blessed to have them both in my life with the added bonus that their husbands and mine like each other too.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
"I like them now"
My friend's eldest is a sweet but, sensitive boy. He likes things a particular way (don't most of us) but, hasn't quite built up the tools he needs to deal with things being different or difficult- he's only 5. One of the challenges to building our friendship would be how well our kids play together - it's just no fun socializing if the kids are squabbling. As we were all getting in our cars he said to his mother, "I had fun today, I like them now!" I got a kick out of that though, in all seriousness, I'm glad he said it.
My husband has friends whose 3rd and 4th children are the same ages as our first 2. (the wife's first 2 are late teen/early 20's) A year or 2 ago their daughter gave our eldest her first experience of someone being truly just mean. She suddenly approached us and shoved our girl so hard that she fell on the floor. She didn't want to go near them for a long time. After a few months of avoidance (precipitated by the fact that the mom didn't say one word to her daughter and the dad just said the child's name in a disapproving tone) my husband simply told him "We don't come over because our kid is still upset at how mean your kid was to her." I never did hear what the reply was but, they're still friends; they just do things without kids. That wouldn't be so easy for a woman especially if they became friends after having kids.
Anyway, I'm glad we had a good play date yesterday.
My husband has friends whose 3rd and 4th children are the same ages as our first 2. (the wife's first 2 are late teen/early 20's) A year or 2 ago their daughter gave our eldest her first experience of someone being truly just mean. She suddenly approached us and shoved our girl so hard that she fell on the floor. She didn't want to go near them for a long time. After a few months of avoidance (precipitated by the fact that the mom didn't say one word to her daughter and the dad just said the child's name in a disapproving tone) my husband simply told him "We don't come over because our kid is still upset at how mean your kid was to her." I never did hear what the reply was but, they're still friends; they just do things without kids. That wouldn't be so easy for a woman especially if they became friends after having kids.
Anyway, I'm glad we had a good play date yesterday.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Let it go...
There is a cliche that if you let something go free, it will return to you if it was meant to be - or some similar rhyme. I was just going to update this entry with the news that my friend e-mailed to ask if I wanted to get together next week. Before starting this though, I re-read what I wrote. It didn't quite come out as I meant. First, I did not mean that I was writing her off just that I wasn't going to put an emotional importance on a potential friendship. I'm just not going about things the right way. I was looking for validation in the actions of others while I still don't have my own actions under control, ie making calls, writing notes, remembering birthdays and anniversaries. I realized that I'm searching for a soul-mate of sorts and I have to stop searching and start growing. If I'm meant to have that kind of relationship it will come only after I've got myself right. It's that whole annoying self-help attitude of you gotta love yourself first.
Second, it sort of sounded like I feel I am purposely excluded from the evening social activities she does participate in and that is not what I meant either. She has another social circle that she participates in more actively than the one that I am also part of which is pretty active. I was not saying she should be inviting me to everything just that our kid-free activities are not overlapping. Overuse of the word "active" not withstanding, am I being more clear? Daytime wise, it is hard because of proximity (lack of proximity) and kids - that's just the unfortunate way things work for mothers. Anyhow, we'll see how our kids play together - that makes a difference in daytime interactions.
Second, it sort of sounded like I feel I am purposely excluded from the evening social activities she does participate in and that is not what I meant either. She has another social circle that she participates in more actively than the one that I am also part of which is pretty active. I was not saying she should be inviting me to everything just that our kid-free activities are not overlapping. Overuse of the word "active" not withstanding, am I being more clear? Daytime wise, it is hard because of proximity (lack of proximity) and kids - that's just the unfortunate way things work for mothers. Anyhow, we'll see how our kids play together - that makes a difference in daytime interactions.
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